Two Igorot Weddings, and the Culture of Kissing
Is the act and art of kissing a universal thing? Our immersion in the Philippine Cordilleras teaches us things about kissing that may surprise the average urban Filipino.
As of May 2016, Habi Collective has covered two Igorot weddings: the wedding of Manang Maty and Manung Sixto, both in their thirties; and the wedding of Alvin and Aper, both in their twenties. The age gap appeared to be a telling factor for why, when the padi announced "You may kiss the bride," our two couples reacted differently.
Manang Maty and Manung Sixto -- who were wedded by Anglican officiants in the highland village of Guina-ang, Bontoc -- attempted to kiss in three tries, each time laughing and being amusingly awkward.
Younger couple Alvin and Aper meanwhile, who both confessed to being romantic, kissed each other in one fluid motion, long and sweet, just like in the movies.
Could this have been just a random case of different strokes for different folks, or that no two kisses are ever the same? Could be, but we're letting you in on something we learned during the course of our research for the documentary "Walang Rape sa Bontok" (Bontok, Rapeless) back in 2014.
When we asked Bontok elders about kissing, this was what they said:
Any diligent anthropologist would tell you that a considerable percent of the world's cultures do not know how to kiss, do not know what a kiss is for. Professor Emeritus Dr. June Prill-Brett -- in one of our belated conversations after the release of the documentary -- told us that once, when an ikit in Bontoc saw people kissing for the first time, the ikit asked in Finontok, "Why are they eating each other's mouths?"
And true enough: when we triangulated our documentary interviews with the book "The Bontoc Igorot" written by American anthropologist Albert Jenks beginning 1903 and published in 1905, our learnings were verified. A passage read:
For us who have been watching television kisses all our lives, this was mind-blowing. We do not know when the Igorot actually began kissing as a display of affection, but we're told that many thirty/forty-something Igorots today still find kissing awkward; whereas, the younger ones would knowingly talk about the many different kissing styles, and do them, too. It proves that culture is a delicate, ephemeral entity, steadily changing, and could become completely unrecognizable in just a couple of generations.
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(This blog is in loving memory of Uncle Kayupet -- Crispin Abcalen, barangay captain of the village of Bayyo, seen in the photo above -- who passed on only weeks before this post. He was one of our favorite key informants, and aside from telling us that kissing was never a thing during their time, he unforgettably said: "Like I said earlier, if you're a man and you're courting a girl, you may bring her some firewood... not roses.")
